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Far Freedom: Keshona by A. Warren Merkey

Far Freedom: Keshona by A. Warren Merkey

   Is life an illusion, formed as a cinema of infinitely many static universes and viewed in infinite detail by my soul? If time must also be an illusion, or at least so subjective as makes no difference, then why does mathematics make me agree to some rules of sequence and consequence, assigned to the variable t? If life is made of still places visited by the audience of my soul, why shouldn't those places still exist, both in the remembered past and in the imagined future? If all is illusion yet still so real and so ordered, then why can't I break down the mathematics and begin to believe I am not alone?

   Mama brings the iced tea, with that anguish on her face. She sits down beside me and says nothing. I know she is thinking not only of Samuel but also of Milly. Especially Milly. She had fallen in love with her crippled daughter-in-law. I know she shares Tony's anger over the secrecy. The anger is justified. There was not even an explanation for why we could not have their bodies returned to us. Why does our country treat us so poorly? Mama and I, and Lucia, have adopted it as our beloved home for so many happy years, and Tony has served in its Army until retirement. Yet, America has taken our children and used their great talents for possibly dishonorable purposes, killing them in the process, and hiding even their 4 bodies behind a wall of secrecy. How can we find peace in our souls? How pitiful are my attempts to tell my wife she should be glad that a poor fisherman's daughter gave birth to such an amazing son, and that even as short as it was, his life must have been worth living.

   She was out of her normal pattern, far out, ripped away from all that was familiar. She had been safe in her little office in Navy Archives, comfortable in her daily routine, and seldom threatened by the lurking violence of Navy life. It was home, and to a lesser degree the construction site of the Freedom was home. She had lost her home. She had deliberately put herself in this current desperate position, deliberately, yet without deliberation. Even without the appearance of Samson, she would be dismayed by her impulsive actions. The great starship, the Freedom, was a project that all but defined her existence, but to launch it under these circumstances was beyond her comprehension. She saw the pattern of events as necessary but understood nothing of its ultimate cause for being. She saw herself as the necessary force of will but understood nothing of herself. The rush and crash of events gave her too little time to be introspective, but it was probably safest not to be too introspective. And here she was, thinking too much while a potential enemy stood behind her. She could almost feel the tension in Jon Horss's body behind her. No admiral let anyone take such a position in this kind of circumstance. Every admiral expected attack, never yielding a position of tactical advantage. He hadn't yet attacked her, so that might answer one question: did Etrhnk explicitly order Horss to kill her?

Read book online on Google Docs Slave Empire: Prophecy by T C Southwell

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